Before I went abroad to
work as a caregiver, I had a plan of using the opportunity to be my
stepping-stone of going to another country, like, UK, U.S., Canada, or Italy
where I will have the chance of becoming a citizen and ensure that my life and
my family will become prosperous.
While I was there,
SOMEONE showed me the other way; I should go home and try to make a difference
that might influence the others to do the same.
Before becoming an X-OFW,
I have been in the dilemma of deciding whether I go home or jump off to another
country. Like the others, I went abroad to prepare for my children. However, things changed when I was there; all
of a sudden, I decided to go home against all the negative comments from my
friends and Kababayans who were telling me, “I will regret it!” “What will you do in the Philippines?” Nevertheless,
I did not listen. I believed my reason for going home is strong enough and it
is the right thing to do.
Few things influenced my
decision.
During my first few months
in Israel, I learned the thinking of my fellow OFWs. Of the 20 people I spoke with, there was only
one person who talked about going home for her family; all the rests were
talking on going to another country. But, what jolted me was many of them
had their parents worked or still working abroad!
What?
Is this mean there is an abroad syndrome – I mean – a cycle had been created
that children of OFW parents are sure to follow their parents' footsteps? Wow, that was not my dream when I went there. I went abroad thinking my children should not
be thinking about abroad; I want them to stay with their family, and when they
think of going overseas, it should be as tourists and not as someone like me
going there begging for work.
Another
thing was many of us OFWs were crying because we were treated like not humans. Because of this, some
were forced to forget the good moral values instilled by the parents by answering back - a no, no in the Filipino culture. Some of us just cry and let the tears wash off the pains in our hearts. For me I used my pen to jot down the pains
which resulted for my first song “Hinagpis sa Abroad” or “Care-givers’ Woes.”
More things forced me to
think on what I should do to not end up a “Yes sir, yes ma’m” the rest of my
life without seeing my children growing up.
That was the time I went to the book stores scheming books thinking I could
find the formula to solve my problem. There
I found Poor dad, Rich dad book by Robert Kiyosaki.
The
book influenced me to think differently in order to be with my family. I thought to myself, that if I would go to
another country, that means I have to sacrifice my family. I have to be like the others who watched
their children growing up in pictures. (Yup, the song growing up in Pictures by
the Alabama also made me think about how hard it was to be away from your
children) I did not follow exactly what the book advised about going into
business, but there were lessons the book talked about which made me to decide
to stop sacrificing too much just to get what I wanted in life.
Before finding the book of
Kiyosaki, I witnessed the family closeness of my employers.
During Sabbath, when I was
invited to the table of my employer, I envied the happiness they have every time
they were in front of their table eating together as a family. The father telling stories about their
cultures, and the lessons they could learn, and the children telling their
ideas and opinions. During those times, how I wished I could go home
immediately and do the same.
Another person who
influenced me to decide to go home was my best friend Izzy -the last person
whom the Lord made me to take care of for a few years to learn more about the
reality of life.
I saw the closeness of his
family: The real essence of having a family; the importance of being together;
the importance of a father being there with his children; they need him when
they are afraid, and they need him as their hero to emulate.
I had thought, “Should I leave my children to chance that
they will emulate Jose Rizal (My country’s national hero) or Robin Padilla of
the Philippine movies, or the bad boys (“Mandurukot -pickpockets, robbers, and
addicts) on the streets of my place, Baguio City?"
Izzy (as most people knew
him) told me how his parents mold them to become self-reliant and to work hard
while at the same time to be religious. Their parents started from nothing, and only
the good parenting they received was the only thing they inherited. With that, all of them ended up successful in
their endeavors. When he got married, he
was still a poor boy, and he told me how much he worked as a teacher, and then
switched to become a real estate broker.
He did not leave his family(wife and children)to become successful.
These things made me think, that it is not the money
that I am going to make will make my children become well off in life, but the
good parenting they will receive from me as their father.
I learned, that Jose
Rizal’s belief that the young ones are the future of a country will never be
true if the parents are not there to teach them how to become the future. In my opinion, “The parents are the
future of the country” because they
are the ones to teach the children all the knowledge and wisdom to become good
human beings and citizens of the country. The parents are the examples the
children have to imitate. The good
lessons they will learn from their parents will make them the future of the
country, but how will that be when parents are not there for them – physically?
When I got married, I
thought I would better my father - at least – as father to my children. I will do my best to teach my children the
things I did not learn from my father.
Because I knew that if only my father worked harder in doing his job as
a father to me, I might be somebody up there now, and who knows, the next
president of my country.
On the contrary, when the good
Lord given me the chance to do what I was thinking to do, where was I? Ten years went by like only ten Christmas days
in successions. My children are already in their teens, and in few years, I
will be a grandfather!
Wow, a grandfather! Without even knowing how it feels like a
father?
My children, too, will
grow up without even knowing how it felt having a father! Accordingly, will they know to become parents
when their time comes?
With all these things bothered
me, I decided to come home and become a real father as I wished.
While we need material
things, I believed it is not worth the sacrifices we do away from our family. No matter how much we do to try to communicate
with them (Thanks to the advancement of technology. We can see them now in the
internet and talk to them like we are next to each other – if we are lucky they
want to communicate with us – the games in FB are too much a competition)
still, the emotion and affection are not completely felt by both parents and
the child.
I saw how much these
Kababayans working very hard to earn dollars.
Day and night, days off, and holidays, they go find a part time just to
have more dollars to send to their beloved children, and extended families to
show they are good sisters or brothers to them – or else…!
I saw how much loneliness
is driving many Kababayans to become lost off the way, and how many families
were broken?
I saw how many died
without seeing their beloved ones because they believed they could overcome the
disease that took their energy.
I saw how many of them did
not go home to see their husband, child, father, or mother who died because of
fear they would lost their job, or for other reasons, and for “Practicality’s” sake.
I saw how many of us
stayed there for years, but life stayed the same. Okay, the house is no longer made up of cogon
and now looks like a palace, but where are the occupants? That’s the problem the house will never
become a home, because the families are not complete, and will never be.
Yeah, I saw them going to
churches, but seems, some churches are not filled up with the Lord’s Spirit
that is why many of their flocks are going astray; anyway, the LORD IS LOVE, so
they will be forgiven!
There is so much to
sacrifice Kabayan, yet, no one is doing something to stop the cycle; in the
contrary, it is being encouraged (by calling us the unsung heroes and super
maids) that we leave our family, never
mind the children, as long as we can send home more dollars.
