Kumusta, Kabayan?: 2012

Saturday, November 3, 2012

I Am A Father

I felt bad after penalizing my two teenage sons by hitting them both, on their buttocks and thighs, three times each with the handle of a Baguio made soft-broom. I felt bad that I hurt them instead of talking to them for the bad effect of their wrong doings.

The reason for the punishment was they did not give back a complete change left from the money they used to buy materials their grandmother asked them to purchase at the hardware store; instead, they gave back less than half of it.

I got angry because it was not the first time they did it.

They got used to the idea of not giving back loose change back when they were only little kids. They were asked to buy something at the small store at the neighboring house, and when there were small loose coins, it was given to them to buy candies, as their price for being good and not lazy, and as their motivation to follow what was requested for them to do. However, the good thing went out of hands. As they were growing up, they learned to just kept loose change, even when they were not told to do so, until those loose coins, became paper bills with significant amount. Amounts, which are worrisome because it makes you worried next time, you’ll again ask them to buy things, you can’t trust to get all the change you expect to have.

They were told many times to give back change, especially, big amounts. They were told they could spend loose coins but not hundreds of pesos just for something to eat. However, it became a habit that was already hard for them to not do it, even with threat they will be punished by their mom(For I was abroad as an OFW during their kiddy times). But their mother’s threat was only words they obeyed at first but found out it was only a joke after testing her by disobeying her order a few times.

Then, I came home.

As father who was “lost” for a hefty number of 10 years, I became soft to them for their “childish” misbehaviors.

Nevertheless, the time came, I had to threaten them with a whip – not once but a number of times, because I saw their “habit” will become their own problem when they grow up and be a fulltime part of the society. So, I started to condition their mind, they will get it from me one day if they do not straighten their ways. They obeyed, once, twice, then fall back to same way until I felt they thought my words were a bluff.

It was hard, nonetheless, as I was giving them the warnings, I was also preparing myself, especially, my mind how to carry out the punishment, and for them to understand why. I am thankful, that remembering my own father, his advice echoed to me: “When you say a threat to your children, make sure the threat must be doable, and is not overstated, so that you can execute it without hesitation, else, your words will be toothless, and look like foolish to them!”

My first boy was only 4 years old, and my third child was only one year and two months when I left for overseas.

Though I tried my best to communicate with them, they were not that interested to get in touch with me. I called home every week, but there was not much talking done. I thought, maybe, they were not talkative.

How I envied some of my friends whose children were so eager to talk with them, even if they spent more than an hour talking on the phone.

I was very excited when the internet became available. I spent a bulk of my salary just to buy me a laptop so that we can talk and be able to see each other using the webcam. But, to my dismay, the computer games were more interesting to them than speaking to me. They cannot even spend five minutes talking with me. After they said, “Hi” they just disappeared from the monitor. When I asked their mother or their sister, they told me they were in the other computers playing games.

Some of my friends, told me it was okay, but, for me it was a signal I should go home and be with my children. I have written letters to them – telling them some words of advice or wisdom a father must tell his children, but, I didn’t think it was enough, specially, when I saw copies of their grades and their teachers’ remarks.

I was so worried they will grow up without self-discipline and moral values I wanted them to learn. They live in the city and there is no way they can learn the importance of work, and education there, especially with the passing of a stupid law against “child labor.” Children in the city are now treated like innocent child till they are 18 years old; no wonder they still act childish when they should be acting matured responsible people. In the province, they could work in the farm, and in the garden, and they learn to become responsible citizens.

I grew up in a farm. When I was six years old, my father entrusted me to take care of our carabaos as my first responsibility.

As early as four in the morning, I ride on our carabao’s back and bring it to the open fields to graze grasses; knot its string, which is about 15 meters long, on a piece of pointed wood driven to the earth. I leave it there until the sun is up and starts to become blistering hot, then take it near a river or of an irrigation and leave him there until the sun is down and its heat is no longer burning. Then together with other children, we go take our carabaos and bring them to a grassy area and let them graze on the healthy grasses. In the evening, when the sun is hidden behind the mountains, we fetch our animals – ride on their back and guide them home. Not only that. I also helped during planting season to distribute the rice seedlings to be planted. Also, during harvest, we worked ‘til midnight whipping the stalks of rice to a bridge of wood connected to each other to separate the dried seeds from its stalks or we got up early at two in the morning to finish the work before the sun is up and burn our skin.

My children never experienced even a fraction of the works I had experienced. I don’t mean they have to go through the same experiences but I want them to at least know that work is important and its value.

Aside from the work, I want them to learn about what is good behavior. I believe all things about a person’s attitude, and character mold while still young. As parent, I believe it all depends about me. The things I teach them now will prepare them on how will they function when they are older.

My belief is this, “We, the parents, are the future of our children.” Because we are the ones who shape their attitudes and characters which will define them when they are adults. We tell them what they have to do, back-up by our own actions. Their environments also affect them but, still, it’s the parents’ teachings come first before they gave in to outside influences.

My parents were not the kind of parents I wanted if I was given the chance to select one. They were poor, and had nothing when they got married. They grew up without their parents, and they barely finished grade school. My father was orphaned when he barely had memory, and my mother was raised by a different family and was treated like a slave.

Nevertheless, I owed a lot from them. I learned from my mother the spiritual strength I used to fight the bad influences of my environment. My mother was not religious but she believes in God and believes in the teachings of the bible, and made her efforts to transfer it to us-with my siblings . As a young child, I love reading stories. And since the only books we got are all about Jesus, and the bible, those are the things I read repeatedly. I loved reading the book of proverb and the book of Ecclesiastes. It was there where I learned about controlling one’s anger; a thing that help me overcame the challenges of people’s foolishness. I learned from the bible how powerful our word is if only used effectively. I saw how my parents earned the respect of the people in our community by choosing the right words to speak when somebody was saying foolish things to them. Because our parents had no adversaries, my father was always asked to reconcile neighbors who made differences against each other – until he was appointed as one of the peacemaker, not only in our neighborhood, but also called up to different communities who had problems settling disputes in their community.

These are the simple things; I want my children to learn.

I want them to be prepared physically, and most important, spiritually. They may not have wealth inherited from me, however, I will do my best they will absorb what I learned from my own experiences (Things I did not learn from school) to overcome the challenges of life, and become victorious, and eventually become successful.

Thus, before and after the punishment, I made them understand that what they were doing will be implanted into their system, and will be carried by them to anywhere they go. I explained to them why there are many corrupt people everywhere – government and private, because as children they unknowingly learned a habit of not giving back loose coins, or small change that it became a “mental” sickness because they believe it is alright to take small things. But, the small things became big things.

I told them, that the punishment they got from me was to let them learn and be reminded that those kinds of practices are not tolerated in a civilized society. Therefore, self-discipline starts now while they are young, not when they are adults when their ingrained attitudes and behaviors are no longer easy to change.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Votes For Sale: How Voters Can’t Cheat Vote Buyers?

Election is again hovering in the wave and is now becoming a hot topic of the town. As usual, when talking about politics, issues like vote buying is always on the table to discuss about.

Have you been wondering how a crooked politician knew if the voter he paid don’t trick him, and be sure the paid voter wrote his name on the ballots?

This question had been bothering me for years until one day, during a wake of our cousin who was killed by robbers, I met someone who spelled out how paid voters will be checked if they voted for the politician whom they sold their precious vote.

The system is very simple, and I am so dumb I did not think about it to save my head of a problem I should have not been thinking and instead thought of other more important ones.

The person, I spoke with said vote buying is a very open to the place where he was staying, but is a puzzle to people who were not involved.

This is their way.

A politician, through his goons, offers money to almost all registered voters, an amount irresistible to say “No” for people who have the lowest daily income, and where work is very limited.

And if you’re one who is willing to sale your vote, you will be paid the amount immediately, and there’s no way you could back-out, or cheat the buyer. Your money is given to you with a big smile, but, with a glare of “Be sure to do as you promised or else be sure you’ve prayed hard enough to save you from going under the ground – six feet!” Which is as far as the fellow remembered, his or her prayers saved no one. Perhaps, he said, their angels abandoned them by the time they sold their souls to the devils.

When you get your money, a carbon paper with clean white sheet of paper underneath is also given! Be sure to put the ballot on top of it when you vote. And when you write down the names of the politicians, it must be duplicated on the white sheet of paper. because failing to do so will put your life in jeopardy.

When you get out from the precinct area, you will be followed, and be asked for the duplicate to submit it with your name. You’re lucky if you are given a chance to explain, or run if you did not write down what was expected from you. Mostly, victims are gunned down immediately, and everyone is expected to have seen nothing.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Pacman-Bradley Rematch : Scripted

Reading the articles of media about the recent anomalous fight between Bradley and Pacman, one can sense that a rematch is already being promoted. In fact, even just after the fight, the two fighters already were claiming to have a rematch. It seems that these people are picturing a big audience, which means, big bulk of money. Because they believe the hullabaloo, surrounding the fight created enough craving in the minds of the boxing aficionados for a rematch.

However, if one ask me if I am going to pay for the fight, my answer is a big NO. Why? Because the rematch is part of the script, those promoters wrote. First, they wanted to have a controversial decision like the one that Marquez – Pacman had. So, it was already written that Pacman should lost in a very controversial way. The trouble was, Bradley did not play his role well, that it was too obvious he lost the fight.

Pacman and Bradley got their shares, and will get more should the rematch become a success.

Well, the media also got their shares, aside from the plethora of ideas that cropped up from the controversy which sell to the public. When you read a writer’s article, observe how they try to push for a rematch, validating their reason by arguing that the best way to settle the score is by having another ten rounds of dancing in the stage.

Take for example, Mr. Nathanielsz, a prominent sports writer and commentator of the Philippines. For a long, long time I admired him. But now I question his uprightness for trying to promote this fight. Why promote a fight that was tainted with a big anomaly? Is he one of those media men that were paid big bulk of money to create stories as scripted! The CROOKS paid the media to keep talking about a rematch! Say all kinds of ugly words against those architect of creating the controversy to make it look like legitimate. However, at the end, find ways to inject into the people’s mind that the best way to resolve if who was the real winner, is for Pacman and Bradley to climb the ring again. And like their first fight, fool the people - by having a script that Pacquaio must lost, to cover up the sins of all the devils behind the shenanigans, and of course, a bigger third fight.

For me, the only time a rematch will be granted is when Bradley won against one or two prominent fighters to defend the title given to him in silver plate! Or, say beat “Money” man. I am very sure Mayweather has no second thoughts of fighting a light-puncher like him. It was very clear Bradley is no match even when Pacman tried his best not to fight his usual way in order to play the SCRIPT the gamblers wanted.

Only the FOOLS will watch a rematch. Those who were sold to the last minute finishing touches of the script - that Bradley was hurt on his foot to validate the reason why he was not at his par, are the only people who will go; nevertheless, I believe there are less fools in this earth.

My hunch is the GAMBLERS wanted to have a fight result like the one Marquez-Pacman fight - a controversial fight - however, the GAMBLERS were dismayed it did not work the way they wanted because one thing was very clear - BRADLEY IS NO MATCH FOR PACMAN!!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Why only now, why only the 182 trees, and why Dr. Mike?

If we have to go over the main points of all the questions and arguments of people who are against the environmentalists fighting for the lives of the 182 trees at Luneta Hill whom SM wants to sacrifice in the name of development, we will arrive to the above title. Why only now when Baguio is already almost shaven to its last tree? Why save only the 182 trees when most pine trees are down to give way to homes that are coming up like mushrooms on top and sides of the mountains, and how about the kaingineros who are burning the forests of pine trees to give way for their farms?

I heard these questions one time when I happened to meet friends in a popular place for darters along session roads, and again read it at yahoo news today.

And here is my reply to those questions which are being used as excuse by people who do not want to be bothered, and for those who do not want to be blame of not doing something to protect the environment, and for those who are guilty.

Why only now?

I have one simple answer to that: Because no one was like Dr. Michael Bengwayan.

Why only the 182 trees?

I will say that Kabunyan has a hand on this. He used the 182 trees as the spark to move a leader like Mr. Bengwayan. 182 trees because that is the number needed to help Mike make a case to it.

Why Mr. Bengwayan when there are more distinguished person out there?

Much to be said, but even Dr. Bengwayan did not ask for this. So, as I said, Kabunyan has something to do with it. He saw this simple man loves the trees more than anyone else does. He saw him ready to sacrifice to save them. Thus, Mike has no choice, but to say, “His will be done!”

For the benefit of us who cannot see through someone’s heart to know how much he loves trees, here is the proof. Dr. Mike went his way to learn about his beloved tree. He became an Expert about her. Every one of us can say we love trees, but no one of us did what he did. Uh, sorry, the environment secretary is an expert! Yah, but only an expert, and not love of the trees, that is why he readily gave up the trees’ rights to live.

Moreover, while every one of us can lead to fight SM, Kabunyan saw our love of the trees is not enough to do the job. We do not have the expertise as the doctor has.

Mr. Bengwayan has all the expertise needed that an ordinary nature loving people do not have – expertise that the possible leaders don’t have to argue with the detractors. If we have been following the case, we know this is one of the argument raised in court.

In my own opinion, the 182 trees is the voice of the environment that created and moved the spirit of Save 182 Group. I can say that it is a fact in the history of humanity that lives are always sacrificed before something is done, and this one shows it is also happening in the environment. We know, as a truth, there were so many disasters and events where the environment is asking us to take care of it, but no one seems to be doing something. Who can forget the typhoon undoy that caused flash floods at La Trinidad Benguet, besides the many lives lost to small slides that happened on the slopes of the city mountains?

The 182 trees may all die, but their spirits will live through the Save 182 Trees Group (which I believe will continue their fight for the rights of nature) because more than the heroes of humanity who died for their beloved country and compatriots, the 182 trees are dying not only for the sake of their fellow trees, but for the sake of the Environment and the whole world.

Friday, March 2, 2012

OFW: Skills you need when you go abroad

“Abroad, abroad” that is the dream of most graduates today in the corrupt laden countries like the Philippines – to work overseas because that is where you could get money. Forget that you have a title because all that matters now is to earn money - no matter what. However, it would be much better if you could maximize your earning capacity to earn more money, and be able to save some.

My 10 years of stay abroad to earn cash taught me that relying on your own salary, as a domestic helper, caregiver, and the like, will not give you enough to send to your family, and for your own personal expenses. It taught me that those who have skills have a very big advantage over those who are relying only on the work they know, and could not do anything to earn extra income.

No matter what country you’re in - the trade is all the same. You work to have a salary, and you look for part time jobs to earn extra. You always need some cash to finance your needs, like, rent, food, clothing, and of course, the boxes of goods such as corned beef, toothpaste, soap, clothes and anything that would fill up the box to send for your family home.

When I went abroad, I used my knowledge and skill in massage to earn extra income to finance my hobbies without touching my whole month salary. Aside from massage, I saw friends who have other skills and saw how much money they were earning. In addition, they do not need to go looking for their clients, it is the people looking for them, thus during the week, clients(99% kababayan) are making schedules with them for the weekend if they are live-in, and some do it during the weekdays if they are live-outs.

Skills that are in demand

1. Manicure and pedicure – everyone wants to have clean nails, so, every week same clientèle ask for a schedule to have their nails cleaned. What is good about this skill is that even men are looking forward to have their nails cleaned.

2. Haircut - A good haircut would complete good looking nails. Thus, this is necessary additional skill to learn. A scissor is not a big thing to carry around – but be sure it is properly kept to not be accused of carrying a deadly weapon.

3. Massage – this is my forte, and there were not many people doing it. Pressure, stress, and physical work get its tool upon us during the week. Add to that the boredom, and depressing routine work you do each day and you would surely have a very sluggish body on the weekend.

4. Technical know-how, such as knowing how to repair and reprogram computers, repair television,washing machine, microwave oven, oven toaster, etc.

5. Part time Cleaning – this is the most popular among Filipinos abroad. They look for families who needs help and make appointments with them. When both are satisfied with each other, a mutual understanding develops that their relationship would last as long.

6. Food preparation – No one could beat the traditional food we have at home. I saw kababayans who are preparing Filipino foods and sell them to the Filipino community, and cater to them during birthdays, weddings, and other occasions. The only thing about this skill is that you have to put out a little capital at the beginning for the things needed to cook the foods you will prepare.

There are ways more that OFWs could earn extra money but are not as the ones enumerated above which do not require much capital outlays - and are risk-free. If you are a risks-taker, and had saved enough capital, these other ways could generate massive income for you without doing so much physically. This is the principle of letting your money work for you.

Hence, for those who are planning to go abroad, do not just go there without learning and mastering one or two skills to have in your hands, unless your profession is something that would really give you an earnings that an extra work is not needed at all.

Kumusta, Kabayan?