Life as an OFW is very challenging. Aside from the challenge of overcoming the melancholy of being away with your family, there always comes a time when other challenges confronts you up to a point the question of morality and practicality of life become two distinctive things where one is sacrificed in order to survive. And most of the times morality is given up in favor of practicality because, as a common reason, you can’t live and achieve what you want by being upright. Thus, in the most trying times, many OFWs resort to “selling” their bodies in order to survive – Filipina and other races. While others always find ways to survive, upholding their integrity and moral life, like, Manang Lex. She said she went abroad to earn money for her children’s future, and to help her family.
Here is her story, retelling me how she survived two of her very trying moments abroad including the crisis that beset the world economy at the latter part of year 2000 when I visited her at their modest home at La Trnidad, Benguet.
I worked in Abu Dhabi, Manang Lex said, as she pointed to me some of her pictures taken abroad that are inserted on the pages of a medium size photo album.
I don’t know if the word “hard” can picture the difficulties I went through, she said, in between smiles and jokes. Just glad I am now home alive and healthy, she continued. Many times, I did not have a permanent job, so, I worked as freelancer, customary term for people who don’t have a permanent working visa, yet. As being a freelancer, I experienced different kinds of employers and life experiences abroad.
Most of the works, I say, were okay, although they all bring out your best, spiritually. I said, spiritually because, as one of the daughters of very conservative religious parents, we were strictly thought to always follow the right path, or not to compromise “good for bad” even though it can make your life or situation better. And when that time comes, trust Him and have faith. I did not know those teachings were put to test later.
The time came when I must go away; endure the taught of being away from my love ones – to survive!
Here at home, the word "abroad" was a sweet word to hear. It sounds like it is the ultimate solution to all your problems. But a thing I found out to be also a bitter word because of the dreadful experiences I had to go through. However, it was not that so dreadful because all those experiences made me a better and stronger person today.
And out of those experiences, there’s an incident that sometimes makes me shudder when I think about it.
For being an honest employee, I offended or triggered the anger of one boss(I called him the little-boss or right-hand boss) in the company I was working. He was the right-hand of the owner(I called him Big-boss) of the company, and the overall administrator each time the owner leaves to do his business abroad.
The Big-boss, hired me as his secretary through the recommendation of one of my employer who was his friend. As the secretary I was tasked to check stuffs that arrived, released, and updated him of what was happening while he was away.
So, I did as he directed. And from doing my job, I didn’t know that the little-boss was offended and upset. He became so nasty to me, saying insulting words, but I did not mind him because he was not the one who hired me. And in addition, I was just doing what was told to me by my Big-boss.
Then, one day, while the big-boss was away, the right-hand boss told me to pack-up and go home as I am no longer needed in the company. Surprised from his reactions, I told him, he was not in a position to fire me. It was only the big-boss who can do it because he was the one who hired me. But, he would not listen and even had all my stuffs removed from my office.
Then he ordered his Sri Lankan driver to bring me home to my apartment. At first, I did not want to go home yet, and stayed inside the office for almost two hours, because I know the big-boss will be arriving on that day. While I was waiting, the driver tried to persuade me to go home. And sensing I was determined to wait for the arrival of my own boss, he told me that it’s better for me to go home then contact my boss if I wanted to speak with him, and do it in another place.
Then I was shocked when he revealed about his boss’ plan of hurting me. He said the assistant boss ordered him to bring me to the farthest desert – mistreat me, and then leave me alone. However, the driver said he cannot do such a thing, so he will just pretend he carried out the plan. But, he needed my cooperation, so, the bad man will not notice.
The driver said he learned from friends who worked with the bad man, it’s what he was doing to all employees who drew his resentment. Afraid of what I learned, I decided to follow his advice, and agreed he drove me home.
Another challenge came again on the later years of my being an OFW. The company I worked closed due to the crisis that affected the country in 2008. I was jobless, and had so many things to pay. I was paying a flat, and sending money to my children who were in college, and also to my mother who was sick.
There were some part time jobs, but I don’t like the job work of cleaning houses. I am an office girl and not used to working in houses. I thought hard what to do to survive. I had experience selling goods here in the Philippines, thus, I thought of giving it a try.
I went to the malls to look for something to sell. I bought herbal medicines and things for women to use and I sold them to anyone on the streets I met. To the Filipinos and foreigners who are interested with my stuff.
It was awkward at first because I had to introduce my products and convince them to try and get them as steady customers. The wok required me to walk daily. Also to take advantage of time when I know more customers are easier to be found. I got up at 5a.m in the morning to prepare myself and the goods I had to sell. At 7a.m. I was out from my flat and go to the parks, restaurants, and on weekends, I visited Filipino flats, because it was there day off. Most of the times, I was home late around 10-11 at night. For almost a year, it was what I did to survive and be able to not break sending money home – monthly.
As I am thinking about it now, I secretly feel proud I had the courage to do such things and survived. However, I feel bad and sad about many of our kababayans there who submitted to the lure getting into a relationship with foreigners in exchange for a few hundred dollars($200-$300 a month) as allowance just to survive and no to “default” sending money to their families home. Many of them were tempting me to do the same; however, I cannot stand the idea. Although, I am already widow when I went there, it never occurred to me to marry a Muslim man, especially, when I observed they have a very low regard of their women. In fact, many of the Filipina who had relationship with them ended in a very bad situation. They lost their freedom; because they had to report every move they do to their partner, and in addition, got black-eyes as bonus, and worst others got killed by their partners. My big thanks go to my parents who thought us a very strong spiritual foundation, because who knows what happened to me if I gave in to the temptations of taking the shortcuts to survive.
Looking back, I don’t know if I can do it again. Nevertheless, those experiences gave me one important lesson, when your back is against the wall, you will learn to find ways to get over the humps, no matter how high they are. And you don’t have to give up your dignity because there are many ways the Lord provided for you to overcome problems as there are many problems cropping up to test how strong your faith is.
